Conor and Floyd, can’t you see? Sometimes your words just hypnotize me, and I just love your flashy ways, guess that’s why they broke, and you’re so paid

Like the masses staring up at the sky with their fat, stupid, mouths agape, cereal boxes with holes poked in them, cardboard sunglasses, and other mensa members looking directly into the eclipse. We have been hypnotized.

Sparing footage, 8 ounce gloves, 49-0, timing vs speed vs defense, little boy, juicehead monkeys, and millions and millions of dollars have clouded our judgement and ability to think rationally. I’m not above it. I’m sitting at my desk right now with a framed bet slip from the Westgate Las Vegas Superbook by my computer. Placed on April 19th, prior to the fight’s announcement mind you; a hundred dollar bet on the 0-0 boxer to beat the 49-0 undefeated veteran.

I can’t explain it. Why are we having this fight? It doesn’t rationally make sense. The fight itself seemed like a talking heads dream, the dog days of summer were approaching with little to no sports talk to be had. Just whispers of “what ifs” surrounding the boxing and mixed martial arts worlds. Barber shop talk coming to fruition. How would an mma fighter do in a boxing ring? Different range, different speed, would the mma striker adapt to the subtle nuances of the sweet science? Not only that, what about a young, audacious, 2 division champ against a semi-retired, brash, defensive wizard. How would that play out in the squared circle? For the first time since the UFC’s manifestation we can have this conversation of cross sport combat. Though the boxing rules are in play, we have a list of “what ifs” longer than Mayweather’s IRS lien.

ohhh yeah, that’s right…

The man that spent 90 days in jail for a misdemeanor related to his multiple domestic abuse allegations also seems to owe the IRS 29 million dollars. “Hard work, dedication”
But is Uncle Sam the motivation? Is that the dirty secret, is that what took this fight just weeks to put together? Everyone remembers the years it took for Mayweather promotions to reach an agreement with Manny Pacquiao right? Why would the same guy come scrambling out of retirement to post dozens of Girl collection promotion videos and get in the ring with a fighter that has nothing to lose, but everything to gain? How does this help Floyd? Strictly financially. Honest question, is this because he needs the money, or because he wants the money? Either way I don’t love the motivation to come out of retirement to take a high risk fight against a fighter with serious power in 8 ounce gloves.

Floyd should just dart out of range and pop counters in Conor’s leprechaun mug. He should have better footwork, cardio, technique, and experience. But where is he at physically?
Clearly the instagram flexing in the club pictures suggest he isn’t slacking on the ab roller. But what about inside the ring? Where is he at with his sparring, timing, and cardio. I am not saying that he got old over night but at what point does the age catch up to a fighter generally? I’m pretty sure it’s before 40. I’m curious if his power will be enough to drop Conor; who hasn’t had any trouble eating shots from 4 ounce UFC gloves, elbows, knees, shins, etc. Conversely Conor has done nothing but put people on queer street with his accuracy. It’s clear who has the power advantage, but can he land crisp, clean shots? I like the reach advantage for Conor because countering is where Mayweather is going to make his hay but at what range?

I have a distinct dichotomy between what I’m hoping to see and what “gun to my head” I think happens. Everyone, including myself wants Conor to shock the world. To see Conor come from the UFC and knock out one of the greatest defensive boxers the world has ever known would be a watershed moment in the history of combat sports. As a mixed martial arts die hard bitter ender I want so bad for that to happen, and I will be rooting for the underdog to prevail. But wait, is this how pro wrestling fans felt when CM Punk got into the cage with Mickey Gall? Did those neckbeard mongoloids actually think he had a chance? Am I the MMA version of those mouth breathing hill billies? Do the hardcore boxing fans look at casuals like myself with the same disdain and disregard the way I look at grown men that watch other grown men on Monday night raw slap each other’s oiled up, bare chests while writhing in pain?! What have I become? I can’t possible be this naive, it’s almost as if I’ve been… hypnotized…

As much as we want it to happen, it won’t.
Conor Mcgregor will likely lose a decision to one of the best boxers of all time. People will likely call Mayweather’s 50th consecutive win a record breaker. Disregarding Julio Cesar Chaves 89-0-1 undefeated streak because he went on to lose a handful of fights…
That’s fine, it’s all fine. This is more than boxing. This is a spectacle, this is a circus. Grab your fucking popcorn and candy apples, pay up the $100, sit back and enjoy the show! This is a special time for the UFC fans, boxing fans (GGG vs Canelo is just around the corner) and it’s drawing eyeballs to the sport which is always a net positive. Regardless the outcome I’m happy and excited to see how this grows the combat sports and the next generation that will grow up looking up to Conor the way I grew up looking up to “I’ll fuck you till you love me faggit”

By the way I would literally eat a mouth full of laxatives and do a handstand for the duration of the Gervonta Davis vs Francisco Fonseca fight and not worry about shitting on myself. This is as big of a can kicking showcase fight as humanly possible.
the end.

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